My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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