The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
