you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
