Don't make out with my wife yet
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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