No more Irish car bombs ever.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
