went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
