Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
