im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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