Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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