hotel room ftw
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she looked like the before picture.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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