I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
