You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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