Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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