Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
