So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize