somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just pee around me
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize