and you said cock pushups were impossible
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize