is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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