She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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