Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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