I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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