Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
