Me. At least after what I've been through.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
