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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
