i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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