So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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