k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
