are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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