That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize