i think my tv is drunk
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize