It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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