I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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