Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
