How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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