my soul wont recognize me after tonight
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
