Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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