Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
