I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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