K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
