I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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