the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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