If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize