So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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