well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It's just like the Real World with babies
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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