i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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