glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
