I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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