Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Life is so much better after having sex.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
