Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
