dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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