i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
