the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Vodka?
Forever.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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