Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
