a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
