So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
