I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
