the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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