I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
