K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
