NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
